BLOG OVERVIEW: Insights, Inspiration, and Action

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There Is No Perfect

At every turn, I expect perfection. The perfect pair of pants...job...school. The perfect mate. The perfect weather. The perfect words to start a conversation. And especially, the perfect decision. 

In all cases, I search, and craft, and mold the situation ad nauseam. For surely there is a perfect process leading to a perfect outcome yielding ever-lasting peace and happiness. Amen. 

And I just about fool myself with my wizardry, until the illusion is pierced by an arrow to the heel. Aka the inevitable unanticipated event...[read more]. 

 This Small Shift 

Sometimes we spend a good portion of time with our people venting - working through and getting out the irritations, slights, and other negatives we experience on a daily basis, so things don't hang around and fester. Done well, venting leaves us feeling better.

The problem is we often vent in a way that is unproductive and leaves us feeling worse...[read more].

Have you been ignoring this crucial aspect of the good life?

For many of us, and for many reasons, we set our finances in a corner of our lives, only to collect dust.

It may be that we do not fully understand them. We consider it a complex, high tech, numbers game for which we have never been given the rules.

Or we are swamped with the numerous other details of life that require our more immediate attention.

Or we may feel disenchanted, because money has failed us. It was supposed to make things easier...but it hasn’t.

Or we simply don’t know where to start....[read more].

 Reclaiming Your Energy - Part 3 - The Soul

Isn't it ironic....

In the midst of this great big beautiful world of ours, with its infinite possibility for experience and connection, we spend most of the day boxed inside a container the size of a milk carton.

The truth is we spend the majority of our time up in our heads thinking through some problem, conversation or interaction. Hashing and rehashing the past. Stressing and fretting over the future....[read more].

Reclaiming Your Energy - Part 2 - The Mind

You know those items on your to-do list that you glance at sideways and mentally push back into some recess of the mind? 

We all have those areas of our lives. Some unsettled something that causes anxiety, or restlessness when our mind rests on it too long.

It could be something that feels scary, something we don't know how to do,  or something we really, really don't want to do.

So we avoid it...[read more].

Reclaiming Your Energy - Part 1 - The Body

Ach. As much as I hate to admit this - it turns out Popeye was right.

I fought it for years. I thought I could go through life eating McDonalds, Swedish Fish, and Diet Coke without repercussion.

I figured if I could pop my vitamins, all would be well. 

And then, of course, reality struck. My body visibly started breaking down. The docs had no idea what was going on, so I took matters into my own hands and started parsing it all out... [read more].

 You're Stepping Up - Here's What You'll Need to Do

How ridiculous are we when we try to get those 27 bags of groceries into the house...by ourselves...in one trip. Why do we never ask for assistance?

And it's not only the groceries, either. It's every piece of our lives. We attempt to shoulder it all, and do an impeccable job (if we do say so ourselves), until we burn out or break down. 

But right now, we have no time for burnout, because, we've got big, important work to do, and we are simply not going to be able to do it while shouldering everything at once....[read more].

  Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

I almost bought a house this weekend! This particular house was precisely what I'd been looking for, and as I walked in, I knew it was my house.

I stood in the kitchen taking it all in and then had a moment I hadn't had in a really, really long time...[read more].

Because SomeDay You Will Have to Use It

On a gray winter day, a petite woman stood outside to tell her story before a mass of 26,000 people. 

She was standing on the side of a hill, in the middle of a town, on land that used to belong to her people. As she stood, she was grounded by a deep understanding of who she was, her roots, and her passion.

Is Santa Real? And Other Beliefs

Back in December, I got the requisite question from a Christmas-celebrating child of a certain age:

Is Santa real? 

Start with Being

It seemed so simple. I only had a call to make. A simple call! You pick up the phone, dial, and speak. It should be no big deal.

And yet, my heart was racing, my breathing was short and shallow, and I felt queasy. Apparently, my body had not gotten the memo re simplicity. The pending call was identified as a threat, and my nerves were on overdrive. [read more...]

LET IT GO

If you're anything like me, your tendency toward perfection ratchets up during the holidays. What could be a moment of comedy is judged as horrific...[read more...].

WHAT WAS I THINKING!?!?!?!?!

There comes a point at which we take a step back and reflect on the life we are living. In our more evolved moments, we recognize that it's been a beautiful life and are filled with gratitude.

In the other moments, it's more of a vehemently bitter: "What was I thinking?!?!" [read more...]

  THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAY TO DIFFUSE A TIME BOMB

I had a very firm lid on the boiling contents of my being. But if the fires were stoked, that lid would be of no use...[read more]. 

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU'RE FEELING ALONE, BUT IT'S HARD TO REACH OUT

I'M A DYED-IN-THE-WOOL INTROVERT. Copious, and I do mean copious, alone time is Sacred. In fact, its crucial to my very survival, and I've long since quit apologizing for it. And yet so is connection....[read more]. 

THE VERY BEST THING TO DO WHEN THE DISCOMFORT'S TOO MUCH

SIT WITH IT. By far it's the best advice I've ever gotten. At the time, I happened to be in a yoga studio sitting on my heels, with my toes tucked under stretching the soles of my feet. Have you tried that recently? Wow, is it painful. [read more...].

Getting In The Game When You Just Aren't Feeling It

You know those times when you just aren't feeling it? When you have a task before you, but you're dragging? It makes it so hard to do that thing.

By contrast, when we're fully engaged, we get in the flow. We're excited to start, and things move effortlessly from there. As a side benefit, full engagement enhances performance and improves outcomes. 

Yes, yes, and YES! [read more...]

THE FOLLY OF STUART SMALLEY REVISITED or IT'S OKAY TO BE ME

 Harnessing Intrinsic Motivation Part II

Time stopped for me the other day. In a good way. In a fill-your-soul-to-the-brim way. And it was all because of some misplaced geometric form...[read more]. 

Harnessing Intrinsic Motivation Part I 

For much of the first several decades of our lives, we are able to push hard without repercussion. We do what we're supposed to do and take it all on with gusto.

We get outside confirmation that we are rock stars and carry the stress with pride. Or we get immense satisfaction from knowing that we are doing as we should. 

Even amidst the pressure and chaos, we are able to charge ahead and keep it all going.

And then bit by undetectable bit, it begins to unravel until one day we wake up and we just can't do it anymore.

Or we really, really...really...don't want to....[read more].  

The Best Way Out Is Always Through

It had been a long day. A long year. And I almost didn’t stay. 

After a picnic at the school where my kindergartener…a-hem…soon-to-be first grader had just finished her year, I was drawn into the building by a sea of parents and students to support the sixth graders in their graduation ceremony....[read more].

Stay Open

I go deep with my relationships. I'm talking to the center of the soul and universe. And I adore my people. They feed me like nothing else.

But they are few. Not may are allowed into the carefully curated citadel that is my heart. And as it turns out, our happiness is not only based on the depth of our relationships, but the breadth.... Sh--. [read more]. 

One Way To Get It All Done, Beautifully

When I ask women about their greatest challenge, it is this: How do I get it all done? 

One Easy Way to Generate Energy and Excitement

This is a view I've seen 1795 times, give or take. The sun coming up over the reservoir, the water reflecting a brilliant glare.

The picture doesn't quite capture it, but most of the time it is a BLINDING sight, and I steal only a brief glance through squinted eyes, and then divert my gaze, continuing my hike, and my THOUGHTS....[Read more].

 Quieting the Mind

I know I've used this image before, but I LOVE it. It is the picture of serenity.

For someone who has spent time in the grips of a robustly active mind or unbridled anxiety, serenity can seem impossible....[Read more].

  Lightening the Load

We've heard it for years. It's the journey. It's all about the journey. But, man, can it be a LONG, monotonous road without any wildflowers to pick.

I have my own personal war against the journey. It CAN'T simply be about that.... [read more]. 

Getting Comfortable With Messiness

SO MANY OF US LEAD DOUBLE LIVES. The truth is many of us could win an Academy Award for the role we play in the world. 

We show the world our brilliance. From the outside, we absolutely shine....[read more]. 

Releasing the Stories Which No Longer Hold Meaning

I'M SHY, and whenever I reveal this to people, they don't believe me. While it has been true, I'm beginning not to believe me either.  

As a four-year-old, when my mom dropped me off at pre-school, I slid behind her and covered myself up with her coat so as to disappear and take away the fear. Or so I hoped....[read more].

How Self-Sabotage Shows Up

IN THE NEW YEAR, many of us create a reset. We recommit to health, wealth, relationships, or whatever else we've identified as the key to happiness.

My personal choice was recommitting to yoga. For quite a few years I made a commitment to practice twice a week, and did, to everyone's benefit....[read more].

Trust Your Self

MY USUAL HIKING TRAIL through hilly woods is a veritable luge track right now. We've had glorious sunshine and warmth followed by arctic cold. It turned the layer of snow first to puddles and then to smooth, translucent blue ice. 

Despite my care yesterday, bent forward, derrière sticking out, arms spread wide, taking micro steps, the laws of physics reigned....[read more]. 

YOU ALREADY HAVE EVERYTHING YOU NEED to create the experience you want at any given moment. When I first understood this at the deepest level, I cried....[read more].

WE'RE KNOWLEDGEABLE, CAPABLE, CURIOUS WOMEN. We've been in this personal growth game, searching for our best life for decades. We've read the books, followed the authors, and learned the salient points.  

So I may Know what constitutes the good life, intellectually. I may know the What, but it's another thing altogether to have a deep understanding that we feel down to our core. It's another thing to know the How and put it into practice, effortlessly...[read more].

I JUST HAD COFFEE with an attorney friend, and we got all sorts of jazzed up (notwithstanding the caffeine and company) discussing the idea of creating and trying to figure out what it is about it that gets us so excited...[read more].

I JUST WATCHED the tension, frustration, and negativity of three whole days dissolve in approximately 2 minutes. It was magic...[read more].  

AS I SIT HERE HARNESSING all the ideas and stories I want to share, I realize that this is going to be a tad bit messy...[read more].