BLOG: What to do when you're feeling alone, but it's hard to reach out


I'm a dyed-in-the-wool introvert. Copious, and I do mean copious, alone time is Sacred. In fact, it's crucial to my very survival, and I've long since quit apologizing for it. And yet so is connection. 

 

 

 

But you know, as crucial as is alone time, it can feel so, so lonely in a deep, disconnected, despairing kind of way. Ugh. Hard to admit, but there it is. 

 

And at the same time, it is so often a Struggle (capital S, heart wrenching, and gut twisting) to reach out. Especially when you're shy.

 

And therein lies the tension.

 

So what to do? A writer once explained that while she did not like writing, or rather, having to write, she loved having written.

 

Ooh. I get that. And that's precisely it - the focus on the oh, so good feeling of having done something. 

 

In fact, I just returned from a hike and lunch with a soul-sister. I had blocked off two hours on my calendar and returned five-and-a-half hours later thinking of all the things I was looking forward to discussing the next time we'd have the opportunity to get together like that. Probably six months from now.*  

 

You know those amazing, uplifting, deeply connected, timeless moments with your people? Staff of life. 

 

And in those other moments, when it's painful to reach out, I'll remember this experience, this feeling of having connected, so that it makes the reach out that much easier.

 

*As it turns out, it was a full year between chat-fests. And we live twelve blocks from each other, but with introversion, and life, and little kids...well...you know how it goes...it just makes the time we do get that much sweeter.

 


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